My birthday was New Years Eve, and for the first time this year, I did not drink, I did not get high, and I had a wonderful night in with the man I love.
I had my “birthday party” on the 28th of December, and that was the last night I will hopefully ever pick up a drink or drugs again.
I had decided I was going to not drink while I was doing my Wu Tao teacher training, and that would take me about 5-6 months to do. I figured it was a good way to give my body a break, and try to quit smoking.
What came just this last week, was the realization that I don’t ever want to pick up a drink again.
When I drank, I wanted to do drugs. I’d do drugs til the next morning, fully knowing that I was hating myself for doing so. I was self medicating.
When I drank, I became an angry drunk. One too many nights full of fighting, throwing drinks, and even punching people.
When I drank, I hated myself.
When I drank, I smoked too much.
When I drank, I slipped farther away from my path.
When I drank, I was not true to me.
So, on December 28, 2013, I had my last drink. I haven’t looked back. The drinking was never really something that pulled me in or that I felt I HAD to do, it just led to all sorts of other things I didn’t need.
Today, I am 25 days sober and clean.
Today, I am 5 days quit smoking.
Today, I look forward with bright eyes towards a very rewarding future helping to heal others.
I am stoked. ❤
Many of my friends have not really understood where I’m coming from. But, as I have healed my past and inner self, I have realized all the damage I had been doing to myself over the years just trying to cope. I don’t need to “cope” anymore. I freed myself. It is with knowing that, that I may walk forward without the need to be numbed or taken by anything. My friends will catch up when they realize this is really what is best for me. I’m not weird, I have just chosen to really live the best healthy life I can for myself.