Remembrance.

It’s been 20 days since this entire ordeal of health issues started and I am happy to report that I have finally had two days in a row where I haven’t needed any pain medication. That’s definitely a jump up from anything that has previously been happening. So what changed? Why the sudden turn around?

I stopped feeling sorry for myself and letting fear take hold. 

I’m a really really positive person normally and I became a person I didn’t like the last two weeks. I KNEW that if I kept my mood up that it would help me, but I just couldn’t see any way out through blinding pain. I was in crisis mode. I was scared of what was happening to my body. How long it would take to get back dancing. How long it would be until a doctor could help me. 

After a long talk with a friend of mine, yesterday morning I decided to call in my spirit guides and surrender to what was. To surrender my fear. To surrender my anxiety. To let the Universe take hold of where my health was at and help me heal. And I started feeling better. 

In the last two days I haven’t let my fear take hold and have instead been trying to help my body heal with tons of rest. 

Sometimes, we have bad days, or trying times in our lives. We have to be gentle with ourselves and others. 

And I need to remember that more power and beauty lies in my own heart and soul than I choose to use in times of crisis. I have the ability to heal my mind and my soul and my heart. I really need to just do that. 

That was my lesson this week. Trust, surrender, let go and use your power. 

 

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18 thoughts on “Remembrance.

  1. Hi Tamara, my name’s Richard and you don’t know me, but i know you, or at least i know your story. I read it all the time on floxie hope. I was floxed on october 5th 2014, so im 3 months and 10 days out now. i had nsaids in my system and i had pneumonia, and i was getting really bad so i was taken to the ER and they gave me a pill of Avelox to take right then and there, telling me it would feel better. I got home and had burning in my feet and immediately connected it to the pill i took, thank god i didnt take any of the levaquin they prescribed me. in the first couple months i developed things like tendonitis in my feet, achilles, knees, and very slightly my hips, with muscle pains in my legs and also neck pain. i had chemically induced panic attacks depression anxiety for the second month and insomnia for like a week. also i had peripheral neuropathy (tingling and numbness) in my feet and hands. my eye also drooped. like you, ive always been an extremely positive person and it was rough getting hit with this at 22 years old, i just moved away for college. i read your story all the time because you’re young like me, and you didnt take that much like me and you got better. I have improved, the main things left are soreness in my thighs and every now and then in my achilles also but its not like a direct pain anymore in those places, my knees are much better now. my main issues left are just the soreness in my neck and legs, i did 3 glutathione rounds and im not limping anymore. i still get slight peripheral neuropathy tingling in my right heel, and very occasionally left but i think its getting less and less. was it after 5 months that you became symptom free? like no soreness or anything? or did you always have lingering symptoms until you relapsed 10 months out? i wonder how youre doing now. i hope to hear from you soon. -Richard

    1. Hi Richard,

      I had no symptoms after the initial cure by glutathione. When I relapsed in September it was for 4 weeks. And I have a sneaking suspicion it was brought on by taking Macrobid for a kidney infection. I refuse to take anything other than penicillin based antibiotics in the future. Nothing else seems to be safe.

      As for me I am doing excellent. I am expecting my first child and everything is looking good and healthy and I’ve been doing well since that weird relapse in September. 🙂

      I’m so so happy to hear that glutathione helped you as it helped me! Are you in physio? I did physio on my leg and the ultrasound machine really helped me when I’d get flare ups in different spots. Might be worth a try.

      1. that’s great news! i wish that the glutathione completely elimintated my symptoms. who knows, maybe i just have to do more. im walking and doing things fine, my knees and other joints just pop more often every now and then. i feel like im finally starting to really come out of the chronic pain. im guesing avelox is a little heavier than cipro because the half life is 8 or 12 hours or something and cipros half life is 4 so cipro comes out faster. but i dunno. my anxiety went away but it kinda came back the last few days because i think im starting to really come out of this mess, so im wondering if im really getting “in the clear” lol. im not in physio or anything. but i want to try it. i just try to go on walks and stuff like that. how did the ultrasound machine help?

      2. The ultrasound would just help the pain that I would get. I mean my right leg was the worst hit and it was as bad as floxing gets without actually tearing the tendons. So spots in my leg would flare up and then they would use the ultrasound on it and massage and stretching to help break up scar tissue and keep it mobile.

      3. was the pain in your leg constant? i totally know what you mean where you say you just want to rip your hair out. i had constant pain pretty much all the time the first couple months. im still sore even if im just sitting but its barely now. walking or any physical activity seems to make it more sore. i had no idea that ultrasound can do that. im gonna look into that!

      4. For the first few months it was constant yes. I was taking percocet on a timer just to make sure I didn’t get any breakthrough pain. It was horrible. I still had to take pain meds off and on for quite a few months. I bumped down to Tylenol 3 and eventually Tylenol 1 and now if I get pain it’s just Tylenol extra strength. So I’ve definitely seen my pain become less and less severe as time as passed. I barely ever get pain now.

      5. that’s good 🙂 i never took pain meds throughout this whole ordeal because i wanted my body to heal faster.. i know if i used them though i wouldnt be as much of a mental wreck as i am. i know its going to be tough to come out of this mentally now too because i forgot what it was like to be normal. can you drink alcohol, caffeine, or smoke marijuana without problems? (if you do any of that stuff, anyways) i used to smoke all the time now i can’t it makes me paranoid about my condition. i drank alcohol a few times and i didnt really notice anything different, same thing with coffee. also how long after you took the macrobid or whatever thing you took for your kidney, did you get a reaction? like a few days later? thanks for being so patient and understanding with me.. 🙂

      6. I can’t drink caffeine anymore it gives me jitters really bad. Even just half a cup. So I drink decaf because I still like coffee. I don’t smoke weed and I was able to drink alcohol again no problem…although I can’t right now haha.

        After the Macrobid it took a few weeks before I relapsed fully but I wasn’t quite right after that. I was at a music festival when I got the kidney infection and I may have gone too hard and that may have something to do with it too. :/

      7. Now that you mention that im thinking if i relapsed because i took a Zpak.. i was getting better, at least it seemed like it within the 1st month then i took a zpak and my symptoms came back and worse… idk, maybe it wouldve been the same regardless. the doc also sprayed shit up my nose during an endoscopy because they thought i had a sinus infection so it could be multiple things, i dunno. i’m glad youre fully recovered anyway 🙂 im getting there, slowly 🙂 my pain has been going down, i bought some whey protein i think it might be helping. the peripheral neuropathy is still there in my feet idk if thats permanent or not, oh well. How come you can’t drink alcohol right now?

      8. Haha I can’t drink alcohol because I’m pregnant silly! lol

        And yeah I honestly wouldn’t rule anything out, it’s totally possible it added to your issues. I won’t take anything other than penicillin type antibiotics now.

        Interesting to note, I had a reaction to ZPack also known as Azithromycin or Zithromax about a year before I was floxed. It was more of an allergic reaction in that I had swelling and hives and heart palpitations…but ya. It’s not very good stuff either. :\

        Have you ever tried taking homemade bone broth everyday? You can find recipes online. I used organic chicken and drank it quite a bit in the initial stages and it seemed to help. It’s the collagen content. A lot of floxies will use collagen pills as well with a lot of success.

        I have also heard that whey protein is supposed to help and I did take it while I was in the thick of it too.

      9. seems like you really nailed it, i made a lot of mistakes in the beginning. i didn’t change my diet, drank alcohol a few times, was on the zpak (and did notice the palpitations from it but nothing major) and also the chemicals from the endoscopy… bone broth is a good idea, ive dranken it a few times, a couple times it made me feel worse because i dont think the meat was organic 😦 and a few other times i accidentally ate non organic meat.. but since then ive mostly eaten a plant based diet, i take natural eggshell membrane for my joints. mostly i have just like a soreness in my legs now, travels between thighs and shins/calves and my left knee and neck still bother me.. im 4 months out now. i hope i get better soon, i cant believe still sometimes that 1 pill of avelox with nsaids did this to me, it gives me anxiety to think about.. and oh yeah youre pregnant! how many months? lol

      10. by the way, congratulations on your pregnancy! i know it will be successful. that’s what my heart tells me. hopefully your ankles dont kill you! haha 🙂

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