Monthly Archives: October 2014

Waxing and waning.

When someone goes through a spiritual awakening does this always mean that it sticks?

I have had months of pure sparkling vision and then months of feeling like the switch had been turned off. Leaves me wondering what’s going on.

Sometimes I’m really plugged in and sometimes I’m not. Why?


It is Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada!

I am making my very first holiday meal myself and sharing with my boyfriend and few close friends tomorrow. Had to alter my recipe for pumpkin pie as I’ve developed a moderate allergy to eggs. But I made it today and it turned out nice!

It’s very much summer like out here still. We hit 25 degrees Celsius this morning.  So weird because I’m so used a lot of fall colors and even a bit of snow in my hometown. It’s a nice change though! 🙂

I have so many things to be thankful for this year the greatest of which is recovering from an incredibly scary illness. From not walking and being bedridden for 3.5 months to starting to dance again. I just went through a month long relapse of illness but I’m feeling stronger again. I have a long road to completely heal my leg but I am healing and that’s the most important part. I could not have gotten through this year without my boyfriend.  After years of heartache and failed relationships I have found someone who is a solid foundation for me.

I am thankful for new beginnings. It’s been 9 months since I moved out to another province from my home town. I love it so much out here. The mountains the lakes the weather the people. My life has become much quieter and yet it’s the happiest I’ve ever been even despite illness.

I am thankful for new friends who have come across my path in this new place.

I am thankful for each day I get to wake up in my own little paradise.

Life is beautiful.

Thank you Universe .


Social Media.

I often wonder what the pull of social media is. I am just as guilty of checking Facebook several times a day or my Instagram. But why do we think that this is a normal part of life?  I’ve deactivated my social media accounts for a well deserved break. To take time to relax and process this entire year.

Many changes have happened in my life this year and I haven’t put all the pieces together again yet.

I’ve used my Facebook account as a sounding board for real life issues that have affected me such as what happened with my illness earlier this year. What disheartens me though is that when I post a profile photo….a picture of my face gets more attention than what I am saying.

I don’t want that to be the only thing that is of value to my life. I want to speak and be heard.

Today I expressed some very personal views on what I believe on my Facebook in an attempt to ask how it fits in with assisted suicide. Clearly this was a touchy subject to many people. I believe in an afterlife because I have seen things that tell me it exists. I don’t think it’s our purpose to decide when we go and the only way out of darkness is through it. Illness an opportunity to grow and learn. Pain is an opportunity to grow and learn. I was accused of pushing my “opinion” on others.  To me it is not opinion that there is something more than just this physical life…it is FACT.  But how do you prove it without showing proof. You know in your deep deep heart and soul that you are speaking truth but some don’t believe even though they are friends and they would normally trust your word.

It makes me feel alienated. Like I can’t speak about my real life experiences without being told it’s wrong.

So. I shut down everything. Facebook Twitter and Instagram for who knows how long.

Time to take a step back and figure out where the path leads now.