Tag Archives: ascension

Angel visions.

I wanted to share a story I haven’t shared about my illness earlier this year.

In case you haven’t read my blog before I will explain. 

In February 2014 I was prescribed a drug called Cipro (ciprofloxacin) for a suspected but never confirmed kidney infection. (To this day I don’t believe I ever actually had one).

I took two pills of the antibiotic and felt like my right leg was swelling. 4 days later my leg was in such excruciating pain and seizing up that I could not walk. I was bedridden for 3.5 months and having to take percocet on a timer…literally. If I did not the pain that felt like my leg was being ripped apart would come back. Over the 3.5 months I developed head tremor, anxiety, panic attacks, shooting and electrical shock like pains through my body, among many other symptoms.

During this time I was often in and out of consciousness because of the heavy pain medication I was taking.

During one of these days I was so desperate for some relief after literally bawling and ripping my hair out wondering why this happened to me.

I was so desperate I was willing to try anything.

I called on Archangel Michael.

Later that day I experienced a closed eye vision of a very tall blue man. He must have been 10 ft tall. He wasn’t so much blue but he glowed that color. He did not have wings.

This being sat on the end of the bed for the whole day. Watching over me I think.

Shortly after this visitation I started seeing a naturopath who treated me with myofascial release on my leg and then eventually Glutathione IV’s.  The glutathione turned the tables.

I had been getting sicker and sicker until that point. After the first IV I could straighten my leg and after the second the other symptoms went away completely.

At 99 days after taking 2 pills I started to walk. 

Fast forward to September of this year I went through a 4 week relapse in illness.  This can happen. 

I’m almost 11 months past this and I still struggle but I am healing.

I won’t ever forget my visitation in my dire time of need. I wanted to die I was in such severe pain. I mean I didn’t really…but I was so desperate.

I’m still figuring out spirituality since I opened the door almost 3 years ago. But I do believe angels are very real.

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Journey to the Dark Goddess

Two and a half months ago before I got sick, I was experimenting with intuitive painting. I had been doing this recently, and a psychic session revealed it was something that I should continue doing as it helped me tap in. Part of my spiritual awakening has been some fairly interesting encounters with psychic phenomenon, and rather than shy away from it as I may have done in the past, I delved deeper into it. 

Two weeks before i became sick, I had a day where I needed to paint SO badly my hands were shaking, something needed to get out. I cleared my space with sage and lit candles and set off to work. What came of that painting was what I realized was the dark goddess and a single eye. At the time, I had just finished my EMDR therapy  to unlock my post traumatic amnesia. I thought the painting was a reference to the dark goddess’ ability to help transform the shadow self, and felt as though I had just done that. 

Boy was I wrong. 

I have now come to a greater understanding of what this illness has meant. It was meant to bring me to the depths of my greatest fears and face them head on. The fear of not being able to dance would be the most devastating thing in the world to me. So here, I had to face it head on because I was unable to dance. 

I did not ask or invoke this. It came to me. 

The pain I endured is something that will remind me of this. A reminder again, of how precious life and vitality is. I understand that each time I have journeyed with the dark goddess I have experienced many painful times in my life, but I have come out of it a much better person having transformed my shadow self a little more. 

As soon as I realized what this illness was, and surrendered to it…I mean I literally said I let go of all outcomes in this situation…I relinquished control…I was free…

I have had almost a complete remission in my symptoms since a few days ago. 

Just like that. Like I had finally learned the lesson this was meant to bring. And I had transformed. 

Like a pheonix rising, like the warrior goddess I am, I ROSE. 

And I rise, up and up and up. 

BAM! It feels good. 

Don’t be afraid of your dark. Embrace it, transform it. Love it. 

Random Thoughts.

When I was younger, I began writing my life story. From a very young age I felt my journey was to be something I could share and help others with. Boy was I wildly off at that point. So many more things have happened after the last two years. 

Through unimaginable pain and losing no less than 7 people in 2012, to spontaneously setting off a spiritual awakening through those deaths, to becoming someone other people come to for advice, to FINALLY unlocking my amnesia and freeing myself of C-PTSD..what a ride it’s been. 

So now it’s got me thinking again, should I document this in great detail. Should I start that book again? 

And also, people have been coming to me a lot with sick parents, asking me how I seemed to have floated through the passing of my mom…and believe me, the deaths taught me A LOT about how to deal. Maybe I can start by writing about that. 

Spiritual Awakening.

I have been meaning to start documenting all that has happened in my life as far as a spiritual awakening. So I suppose I will just start from the beginning and go from there.

In January of 2012, my friend went missing in Whistler, Canada. I felt very drawn to his disappearance. Two days before his body was found, I woke up at 4:44 am. I heard a woman’s voice say Mike’s dead. Things have never been the same since.

I started at that time noticing repeating numbers. I would see them mostly in the clocks around me, but I started to teach myself what they meant and to pay attention.

It was then that I started to experience synchronicity. I would meet people randomly on the street who were talking about the same things I had been thinking about.

I had an angel card reading done, and they were telling me to open up and allow it to flow through my life.

So I did.

I was still in BC, and I felt very close with nature. Very grounded. Sitting by the river in the pouring rain was amazing.

Last July, my mom’s ALS was starting to get worse, so I felt deep within I needed to come back to my hometown. My mom died 3 weeks later. I spent the last 10 days of her life with her in the hospice. She was seeing angels, and all sorts of things. I believe she was fully in this world and the next for the last few days. When she passed away, I was with her. I didn’t know that when people die, they take one last BIG breath after they die. My mom’s lung capacity was so little at that point there’s no way she could have physically taken a breath that deep. I began to understand that her soul had left her body at that point.

That night, I went to sleep and I had a dream about my mom being taken out of the hospice and put into a body bag, and she was screaming for me. She was still alive. I came to understand that perhaps I was experiencing her crossing over with her. The confusion.

The day after she died, I saw my first butterfly. I was laying on the beach (a thing she loved to do) and a butterfly landed right in front of my face.

A week later, at her funeral I received two gifts from my close friends and both had butterflies on them. I hadn’t told anyone I’d been seeing butterflies.

August turned into quite the month, with 4 more deaths. 2 on August 31st. A murder, and a car accident. Both young.

Around this time I was visited for the first time by my mom in a dream. I did not see her, but I felt her, and knew it was her and had an overwhelming sense of warm fuzzy feelings.

One of the people who died on August 31, 2012 was a girl named Amy. She was a dancer for my company. She was murdered.

On October 31st, I was visited by her. I was at a concert for one of her favorite djs and all of a sudden it was like a sonic BOOM hit me, and I could feel her there. I broke into tears in the middle of this 3000 person deep crowd. It was AMAZING. It was my first waking life visitation.

My mom continued to visit me or give me signs. I’ve had a musical jewelry box (given to me at her funeral) start playing for a minute straight without being open or wound up.

On mothers day this year, my power surged as I hit post talking about missing her.

The repeating numbers in 2013 have been a much more common, almost daily, occurence. And they started showing up in things other than clocks. A bill from the local coffee shop. $4.44. Licence plates, phone numbers.

Two months ago, my heart chakra opened. I can only describe this as a feeling of flowing moving energy and unusual heart beats for two days straight. The heart chakra helps with self acceptance and love.

It was then that I decided to start talking about my mental illness and my struggles, publicly. I began to live in my whole truth. No longer afraid to hide or be afraid of being my true self.

As of the last month, things have become more intense in my life. After talking about a side project I’m working on, I kept seeing 777 or 7777 everywhere. Which essentially means you’re on your divine life path. So I’m very excited to see where that takes me.

It’s gotten so easy to ask my guides for assistance that I just look to the sky and say show me the way, and a vehicle drove by with 2222 on it’s licence place right after.

Or, as I was walking along the river, I looked up and said Universe show me love! And looked down to see a heart shaped rock at my feet.

Recently, in the last few weeks though, things have become very strange. I’ve begun to see things that are not of this dimension. I have been seeing orgone, which is the universal life energy. A portal. My first spirit. Rainbow clouds. I was gifted a painting during my energy experiments that looks like a portal. As I believe my crown chakra is opening, I think it’s no accident that painting came into my life at that time.

Through this process I’ve met many teachers and recently I have been attracting people in my life who need assistance. To the point of them literally knocking at my door. One night as I was coming home a couple weekends ago, I saw a guy about my age, struggling to bring stuff into my building. I’d never met him before. I asked him where he was coming from, as it was 4 am. He said he had been in rehab for opiates/hydromorph for 6 weeks. Well, my intuition tells me that something wasn’t right. That night, I started seeing a specific part of my wall start to morph. At one point it looked like my friend Amy’s face was coming out of the wall. Well, I know when I feel loved ones who have passed I feel very loving and warm. This was not the case. I started experiencing frustrations in life and feeling tired alot. I picked up some sort of shape shifting entity from the addict. I have done a smudge and it is gone, but if I continue to help this person I must be careful to cleanse my energy and space.

Last week, after expressing my confusion as to where my life path is leading, a mix I was listening to, stopped itself at 3:33. That was the first time that something was deliberatly manipulated to show me something. 333 means your guides are telling you to ask them for guidance on showing your life path.

A lot of this is very new to me, but it is exciting. I am not afraid. I am open to receiving the gifts that are coming to me.

It’s a new era, and this, is just the tip of the iceberg. 😉 ❤

A week of delving within, of learning.

Where do I begin?

Two very different things have been happening over the last week.

One, I went to two different shamanic sound healing workshops.

The first, was more of a dreamlike state. I went into what I can only describe as a trance, and when I came out of it the only thought in my mind was “don’t go back to sleep, don’t go back to sleep, stay awake and aware”. I took this as my subconscious and/or spiritual guides telling me to keep on the path I am on.

The second, was more of an awakening and incorporated breathwork. I experienced tingling sensations through my head and forehead that I can only understand as charges of energy coming through me, that my nerves went haywire over. All steps on the journey of moving forward. I felt very connected to the spirit world during this one. I let go of all the pain inside that I possibly could. I felt warm hands holding mine. I felt as though my mom as there with me, and I could feel her cheek against mine.

I’ve learned that the quieter and more in focus I get, the more I am connecting to the spiritual realm. There are guides both seen and unseen that are helping me in this process and I am thirsting for more. I am thankful that I’m opening up and seeing beyond reality to the beautiful existence that we all live in, but may not see.

Next order of business. First therapy appointment. Met with my new therapist who is very good. He had me figured out just by what I was telling him. I was in tears, first appointment. Always a good sign for me as I am usually quite defensive.

I had originally requested for a therapist that specialized in EMDR as I’ve had quite a lot of growth when I was doing EMDR. However, the place I go to doesn’t have a therapist who does EMDR right now, so after talking to the therapist I met and learning he specializes in Hypnotherapy, I decided I was going to try that route. It’s the only other specialized therapy I had considered. Essentially it is doing the same thing EMDR would do, just going about it a different way.

I am interested to see if I CAN be hypnotized because of my defensive nature. But time will tell. First hypnotherapy appointment is next week. 🙂

Trusting the journey I move forward to see where the path leads. I am excited, and locked in, ready to go. Til next time, namaste! ❤