21 Day Gratitude Meditation, Day One: Finding your purpose.
What gives you a fire inside? What would make you wake up each day being so grateful for life?
A few weeks ago, I figured out what my purpose is. And I will spend the next year training to do it. Starting in December.
Tonight, as I was watching the meditation video, it stopped and would not play past 9:44, I had to refresh the entire page. I looked up what 944 means in angel numbers:
“The repeating number 944 is a message that the angels and Archangels are supporting your Divine life purpose and are encouraging you to look into spiritually-based work and/or career path. The angels encourage you to set your goals and pursue your aspirations with enthusiasm and passion. Trust the workings of the Universe.
The repeating Angel Number 944 is a message that your Divine life purpose involves serving humanity using your ‘lightworking’ abilities. Trust that you have all the skills and talents you need in order to fulfil your spiritual destiny.”
I don’t know how to explain these increasingly amazing signs I get, but if you see and notice numbers, pay attention. The universe is trying to tell you something. 😉 ❤
I’ve been doing some chakra meditation and healing specifically related to my past sexual trauma. Interestingly enough, I had spider fall right in my face the next day. Spiders are represented by creative feminine energy. This is blocked when you have a blocked sacral and solar plexus chakra as I do. The very fact that I wasn’t afraid of it shows me that I have been releasing that from myself.
I also put two and two together in relation to the back and forth abnormal pap tests I’ve had for years. As I’ve been harboring so much pain from my past in those areas of my body, I have created dis-ease.
Healing myself through meditation and visualizations is becoming a daily ritual in my life. I’ve been doing daily if not twice daily energy cleansing on myself for weeks now, and I feel amazing after I do so. Now, I am taking what I’ve learned and directing it specifically to the chakras and points of resistance in myself, opening up waves of energy to flow freely.
I am healing myself. We all have this amazing ability to heal our own body, mind and soul. Remembering that, is taking us back to where we belong in this universe. To who and what we truly are.
I remember, who and what I am. And even though I may never have the memories from my early childhood back, I have been able to somewhat bypass that and find my true soul nature anyways. And in the process I’ve healed a lot of the wounds myself.
There is still lots of work to do but I know I’m SO on the right path.
I am in love with life.
I am in love with my progress.
I am in love with the beauty I see all around me.
I am in love with who I am.
I am quite bothered by some things today, so it`s been difficult to focus.
One thing that is bothering me is that my friend has been missing for almost two months. They have found a body near his house in the last day and it is as of yet, unidentified. There`s so much more to this, but I have resolved myself not to dwell on it. I can only take things one day at a time, or I get overwhelmed.
Secondly, I have put my worry onto D for far too long. I should only be worrying about myself. Not anyone else.
But if you see my previous post, this is something that I really really struggle with. Not worrying.
So I remembered a piece of advice I heard from a friend the other day. She told me that she met a woman who every day would send out her love to George Bush…now, she asked this woman `why on earth would you do that`and her answer was that he needs love just like you and everyone else. So she then began a practice of sending love to people she didn`t like.
Not that I don`t like anyone, but today I decided to focus my attention in meditation on sending love and healing towards D, my friend who is missing, and my mom who is sick.
I imagined them wrapped up in a soft cocoon of light and love and healing. Then I asked the universe to take my pain and transfer it into healing and love. The visualization helps me work through the worry and pain that I am feeling, while using the energy in a positive way.
I feel a bit lighter. I`m going to meditate later again, but this time in the process my therapist has set out for me since session two. I needed to bring myself to a calmer place before attempting that today.
Learning is fun. 🙂
So after my good session on Thursday night I went to bed and again experienced another fear in my dreams. I am still thinking that this is a good thing that they are coming up in my dreams so that I can deal with them in safe places.
This one involved finding pictures of some girl, half naked on my boyfriend`s phone. Who doesn`t really matter as it`s a fear that grips me deep inside and has through most of my relationships, even though there isn`t a reason to have that fear AT ALL.
This one threw me for a loop though. I woke up quite distressed. I tried to quiet my thoughts and went back to sleep. Throughout work during the day I was ok.
After work I went through the meditation and breathing practices that my therapist taught me, and I actually meditated myself to sleep! hah I thought that was pretty neat. And my body likely needed the healing. 🙂
Later that night a stressful situation came up in conversation so I took myself out of the room for a moment and focused on my breathing and safe place. It worked somewhat, but I know that it`s something I`m going to have to really commit to. And that`s ok. 🙂
Going to spend the rest of my day cozy and warm inside dreaming about summer and practicing what I`ve learned. 🙂