Tag Archives: spirituality

Blogging.

This is the first year since I created my blog 3 years ago that I have consistently blogged every single month.

I thought that was quite an accomplishment. I can only hope my journey laid out here is an inspiration to those that read it.

And oh my there’s readers from all over the globe checking it out! Hello and welcome 🙂

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Angel visions.

I wanted to share a story I haven’t shared about my illness earlier this year.

In case you haven’t read my blog before I will explain. 

In February 2014 I was prescribed a drug called Cipro (ciprofloxacin) for a suspected but never confirmed kidney infection. (To this day I don’t believe I ever actually had one).

I took two pills of the antibiotic and felt like my right leg was swelling. 4 days later my leg was in such excruciating pain and seizing up that I could not walk. I was bedridden for 3.5 months and having to take percocet on a timer…literally. If I did not the pain that felt like my leg was being ripped apart would come back. Over the 3.5 months I developed head tremor, anxiety, panic attacks, shooting and electrical shock like pains through my body, among many other symptoms.

During this time I was often in and out of consciousness because of the heavy pain medication I was taking.

During one of these days I was so desperate for some relief after literally bawling and ripping my hair out wondering why this happened to me.

I was so desperate I was willing to try anything.

I called on Archangel Michael.

Later that day I experienced a closed eye vision of a very tall blue man. He must have been 10 ft tall. He wasn’t so much blue but he glowed that color. He did not have wings.

This being sat on the end of the bed for the whole day. Watching over me I think.

Shortly after this visitation I started seeing a naturopath who treated me with myofascial release on my leg and then eventually Glutathione IV’s.  The glutathione turned the tables.

I had been getting sicker and sicker until that point. After the first IV I could straighten my leg and after the second the other symptoms went away completely.

At 99 days after taking 2 pills I started to walk. 

Fast forward to September of this year I went through a 4 week relapse in illness.  This can happen. 

I’m almost 11 months past this and I still struggle but I am healing.

I won’t ever forget my visitation in my dire time of need. I wanted to die I was in such severe pain. I mean I didn’t really…but I was so desperate.

I’m still figuring out spirituality since I opened the door almost 3 years ago. But I do believe angels are very real.

Dreams.

I woke up on Halloween morning to a dream that made me cry. But although it did that I believe it was a message from my mom who passed away over 2 years ago. It isn’t the first time I’ve had dreams of her and certainly won’t be the last.

In my dream I was at a house for a family dinner although the people in the house weren’t my actual family or anyone I know. But nevertheless, I was family to them in the dream. When I turned the corner to the dining room there were two tables of people and at the smaller table towards the kitchen sat my uncle, my grandma and my grandpa all on my mom’s side of the family. My grandpa is also deceased. In the dream I immediately went to say hi and that I missed my grandma.

*backstory: I’ve had a falling out with my mom’s family since she passed away over the terms of her death not being carried out meaning I did not receive personal items..sentimental things of hers. Her family took it as  great offense and thought I was just after money and have since shunned both my brother and I from all contact and family gatherings. *

Anyways. In the dream after saying I missed my grandma to her, she responded with “but we are always here for you”. I gave her a big hug and when I let go…I was holding my mom.

I think it was my mom’s way of telling me to contact my grandma. Interesting.  Then on Saturday night I woke up at 3 in the morning with the sudden urge to search my family history. Sometimes these weird things happen to me haha.

So I got up and started doing Internet searches on my phone to see what I could find out. I was able to find info on all my grandparents last names (and maiden names) except…for my mom’s mom. Again…something I’d have to solve by contacting her. Sign # 2. Weird.

Well I am of the belief that Halloween is a special time that the veil thins between worlds.  I have always consistently had things happen on almost every one my entire life. This year was no exception. What is interesting is that it became a theme over the next couple days with sign #2.

I need to call my grandma. But I am scared because I don’t know if she will talk to me. But I really do miss her.  😦

I suppose all I can do is try.

The spiritual meaning of illness and injury.

Exactly 106 days ago I was knocked down by a severe adverse reaction to an antibiotic I was given. It attacked my collagen in my leg causing degeneration in my tendons, ligaments and fascia, and the WORST pain I’d ever felt in my entire life. The type that makes you literally rip out your hair and want to die. Then it hit my central nervous system and gave me the worst insomnia, not sleeping for days. Then tremors, which felt like I had parkinsons’. Then nerve pains, electrical shocks through my body.

I read all over the internet about people getting this and being gravely ill for a year, or years. I then developed panic attacks and anxiety. I was the sickest I’d ever been in my entire life. I wasn’t sure I was ever going to get better and if not for a very long time.

But the second I decided to change my views and let my body rest and heal as it needed to, I did start to get better.

As of 99 days into it, so a week ago today, I am able to walk. I am not dancing yet, but I imagine I will be soon. ALL of my symptoms have completely disappeared. The only thing remaining is a slightly shortened achilles tendon, which is being worked on in physio and I know I will make a full recovery.

Now, in a spiritual sense, what does this all mean?

I believe I was being tested. That it was a dark night of the soul. That I needed to go through this to really fight for what I wanted in my life. To fight for life itself.

A leg injury can mean you are afraid to move forward. And while I didn’t want to readily admit I was afraid of leaving all I knew behind and embarking on a new journey and new career, of course I actually was.

But this left me wanting for it, MORE.

It taught me the ever so hard to learn PATIENCE. I had to let my body slowly heal, and my mind heal along with it, as I lay in bed nearly 24-7 for over 3 months.

I’m stubborn. Only I could have this sort of experience to make me learn lol.

But I’m glad for it. I’m thankful for it.

I needed it.

So next you’re experiencing a roadblock of some kind…ask yourself…Do I need this lesson?

 

444

The number that started this journey, almost 2 years ago. 

I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about 444, and felt compelled to look it up again.

Seeing 444 can mean you are entering the 4th dimension. The “symptoms” of that totally make sense for all the things I began to experience in 2012. 

What is even more interesting is what else it said. That 444 means your angels/spirit guides are very near and trying to help you, and you may even HEAR them say something to you.

I just figured out where that voice came from at 4:44 am that morning….holy crap…

A week of delving within, of learning.

Where do I begin?

Two very different things have been happening over the last week.

One, I went to two different shamanic sound healing workshops.

The first, was more of a dreamlike state. I went into what I can only describe as a trance, and when I came out of it the only thought in my mind was “don’t go back to sleep, don’t go back to sleep, stay awake and aware”. I took this as my subconscious and/or spiritual guides telling me to keep on the path I am on.

The second, was more of an awakening and incorporated breathwork. I experienced tingling sensations through my head and forehead that I can only understand as charges of energy coming through me, that my nerves went haywire over. All steps on the journey of moving forward. I felt very connected to the spirit world during this one. I let go of all the pain inside that I possibly could. I felt warm hands holding mine. I felt as though my mom as there with me, and I could feel her cheek against mine.

I’ve learned that the quieter and more in focus I get, the more I am connecting to the spiritual realm. There are guides both seen and unseen that are helping me in this process and I am thirsting for more. I am thankful that I’m opening up and seeing beyond reality to the beautiful existence that we all live in, but may not see.

Next order of business. First therapy appointment. Met with my new therapist who is very good. He had me figured out just by what I was telling him. I was in tears, first appointment. Always a good sign for me as I am usually quite defensive.

I had originally requested for a therapist that specialized in EMDR as I’ve had quite a lot of growth when I was doing EMDR. However, the place I go to doesn’t have a therapist who does EMDR right now, so after talking to the therapist I met and learning he specializes in Hypnotherapy, I decided I was going to try that route. It’s the only other specialized therapy I had considered. Essentially it is doing the same thing EMDR would do, just going about it a different way.

I am interested to see if I CAN be hypnotized because of my defensive nature. But time will tell. First hypnotherapy appointment is next week. 🙂

Trusting the journey I move forward to see where the path leads. I am excited, and locked in, ready to go. Til next time, namaste! ❤