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Updates.

Well its been a while. I’ve been busy..you know, growing a human. I am 26 weeks tomorrow and getting excited and also nervous.

I have been reflecting over the last year and a half of my life and how much things have changed.

Just over a year ago…I was coming out of what I would consider nearly dying. I was learning to walk again after 3.5 months bedridden.

Everything I thought I knew about who I was…had been literally ripped apart from my soul. I was in a very dark place. Scared and alone.

But somehow, I made what I would consider a miraculous recovery. And in going through the processes I was completely transformed. A butterfly coming out of her cocoon.

I only hope that I can impart this zest for life and wisdom to my soon to be daughter.

I have been toying with the idea of writing my experiences in a formal manner. Perhaps a book.  But I don’t want to just write about what happened and the dangers of Fluoroquinolones. I want to write about what an incredibly life changing shift this was. It was and always will be a spiritual awakening experience for me. I am not angry about it. I am at peace with what happened to me because I see that it needed to happen. It’s all part of a greater plan  I’m not privy to lol.

I want to leave a legacy that helps others. That in itself  has been  the thing has brought me the most joy out of the whole experience.  It makes my heart ache to hear about people who have been damaged, but I am always willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on. Even if that shoulder is a virtual one. I don’t want anyone to feel alone. You are not alone in this.

Speak no evil.

I posted a little while ago a post entitled “Mommy Wars” about women who are either pregnant or have children who like to get in huge heated debates with each other over things like vaccination etc.

I’ve chosen to have a midwife assisted birth, and I am 90% sold on a home birth, close to the hospital if I need a transfer. Obviously, this is my first child and I don’t know how labor and delivery will go for me.

When discussing my choice on a message board I was essentially attacked by someone claiming to be a medical doctor (ER doc) about my choice and how stupid it was.

I certainly don’t feel the same.

There’s another forum on the same website where I wanted to ask a question about delayed vaccination schedules in Canada…but low and behold, that same woman is on there yelling at people about vaccination too.

It’s really frustrating to feel like the place I am going to ask questions and seek advice as a first time mom…is turning into a place I’m afraid to express my feelings on certain topics.

Because of how sick I was last year in large part due to the pharmaceutical industry and doctors….I am very wary about things. But this view has seen me being attacked online.

I don’t know where to turn for real, unbiased advice. :\

Media Coverage of Fluoroquinolone Antibiotic Dangers

Floxie Hope

WSB-TV 2 out of Atlanta, Georgia has run several news segments about the dangers of fluoroquinolone antibiotics – focusing on the death and destruction caused by Levaquin/levofloxacin.

A HUGE THANK YOU TO EVERYONE INVOLVED IN MAKING THIS POSSIBLE!  WSB-TV 2 producers and other staff, Jim Strickland, Kathy Dannelly, Donna Schultz, Jeff Stephens, Lynne Whitcopf, Dr. Keith Jeffords, Sandy Davis and everyone else who spoke up about the dangers of these drugs – THANK YOU!

Here are the video clips from WSB-TV 2 –

You can read the story here – http://www.wsbtv.com/news/news/local/local-woman-says-popular-antibiotic-killed-her-hus/njzwj/

Per The Quinolone Vigilance Foundation‘s facebook page, “QVF has just been informed moments ago by ABC2 WSB-TV that the number of shares from the news stories have increased from 2 million to 3.9 million.”  WOW!  Great job getting the word out!

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find the story featuring Lynne Whitcopf and Dr. Keith Jeffords on YouTube, but you can view…

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Mommy Wars

good mother

Ok. I am not even a mom yet. But I’m catching wind of some of these very heated arguments between moms and moms to be. Breastfeeding vs. Formula. Circumcise vs. not. Vaccinate vs. non vaccination. etc etc

I have two reasons this concerns me.

One, my views have changed a lot. I used to trust my doctor. I used to think they knew everything and run to them when things went wrong. I don’t do that anymore. It’s been almost a year since I had a severe adverse reaction to an antibiotic. I have very very STRONG views on medications and vaccines, and things that just don’t belong in a body. It’s not just my opinion,  it’s what I’ve seen happen. I have allergies to several different things. I had severe reactions and allergies to several antibiotics. My brother had seizures from his childhood vaccines. To be fair, it seems that my genes lean towards being sensitive to these things. I plan on delaying vaccination in my kids. Not long, but long enough that if they do have a reaction it’s not going to be in a tiny 2 month old body. This is my choice. For many reasons.

Two, because of these views am I going to be shunned by other moms? I truly want was is best for my child and given my history, perhaps shielding them from harm is the best way I can do that.

Why can’t we all get along?

I am part of a online pregnancy message board. These conversations come up. Sometimes very young girls come onto the boards to ask about abortion and people bring their “pro life” views into things, and try to push their religion onto people.

News flash! Don’t just assume that everyone follows your religion….

Hey, I may be hormonal but I can see that competing with each other is not the way to be.

I do what I know is right for me, and you do what is right for you.

I respect that.

Don’t judge and push your views on me.

Peace 🙂

From Maiden to Mother.

I have to say : I don’t feel spiritually connected to this pregnancy yet. I am more intuitive, and have been having much more dreams.

But I think the fact that I feel pretty normal is keeping me from feeling connected yet. Maybe once I have a bump growing it will seem more real.

I’m 9 weeks and 3 days so it’s still early.

A lot of my mind has been on the actual birthing process. I’ve chosen to have a midwife and haven’t decided yet between a hospital or home/water birth. I actually feel as though a home/water birth would be a much more in tune environment for me. But I also worry if something goes wrong.

I am also afraid of the pain. I’m planning on taking hypnobirthing, so I hope this will help me. I’m not that great dealing with pain.

But I also so want to trust that this is a journey that many women have made before me, and I know that I can make too.

It’s a big life transition and I’m still in the Ok…is this real? phase lol

I’m sure it’s about to get really real anytime though! 🙂

End of year reflection…and some big news

As I sit here and reflect on this year I wonder how much this year has helped me grow into a woman. I left behind a lot of things.

Illness plagued this year. Considering I spent approximately 5 months early this year bedridden and yet I am healthy today is a feat like no other. A miracle if you will.  Floxing changed everything about how I interact with the world. What substances I will put in my home and in my body. Chemicals are everywhere and I’m keeping my environment as natural as possible. 

Being sick also led to an even greater understanding of how very short life is. We only get one chance at life…well this one at least…so it’s pertinent to remember this and keep our dreams big and our hearts open.

My birthday is New Years Eve and I will be 29 this year. I have one last year of my 20’s and this is bringing about change as well.

My Saturn Return also falls over the next year. I’ve written several posts wondering about what my Saturn Return might mean.

Well, I do know one thing I will be doing…

My big news..

I am expecting my first child next year!

BIG changes on the way it seems. 🙂

And such a wonderful gift after struggling through this year.

I am excited and ecstatic! 

Restless.

Sometimes I get really restless in life and make rash decisions that I regret.

But most times these decisions bring me to places and people and experiences that help me grow.

I’m getting restless again.

I’m in the in between place.

My old life gone almost completely.

Yet I miss it and some people from it.

But I know I can’t go back.

And I know where I want to go.

But getting sick slowed everything down.

Wait…I was supposed to learn patience.

Is this another test? 

I just want my new life to begin.

I wiped the slate.

Let’s begin!

Sheesh! 

Tamara’s Story – Ciprofloxacin Effects

This was the story I wrote when I first got sick earlier this year from an antibiotic called Cipro. I have come a very long way. It’s been over 10 months and this was written at 7 weeks out. I have healed. I have come through the darkness and I am finally getting my life back on track. What a year!

Fluoroquinolone Wall of Pain

Tamara FQwall

I was floxed by Ciprofloxacin February 4th of this year. I took two 500 mg doses of it, and began to feel like my leg was swelling, so I discontinued use. Two days later I was in the emergency room with what they thought was a blood clot. All tests came back negative. At this point any doctors I spoke to didn’t believe it was the cipro and I even had a nurse laugh at the suggestion of it.

It was then that I decided to look into it online and it opened up an entirely new, and scary world for me. Over the first week the pain began. I was in excruciating pain, it felt like my leg was being ripped apart. I was diagnosed with “tendon issues”, maybe tendonitis from my doctor and given percocet for pain and no other options.

I began a strict eating plan…

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